


Blue Screen of Death (or One Thing That Never Happened if Arashi Were in Fandom)

by panpipe



Series: Fandom AU [2]
Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-01
Updated: 2008-12-01
Packaged: 2017-10-13 03:45:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/132478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/panpipe/pseuds/panpipe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nino is a creeper and Ohno doesn't notice. Fandom AU Ohmiya omake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blue Screen of Death (or One Thing That Never Happened if Arashi Were in Fandom)

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted [here](http://panpipe.livejournal.com/94332.html#cutid1).

Nino's always been a little obsessed with Ohno.

After all, Ohno has always been this kind of "ideal person" to Nino. It's not even that Ohno is or anything, because Nino's a BNF too so someone's popularity has never really fazed him. Nino's just always liked the person Ohno is, and the way he doesn't really let anything get under his skin, and the way that he's so absent-minded, and the way that whenever Nino asks what he's doing he says he's eating, and the way that Ohno is so oblivious (even though that's actually pretty annoying), and the way--

Well, okay, enough of that.

 

One day, Ohno mentions Star Wars in a post--that he'd recently watched it and it was pretty interesting. So when Ohno doodles a few of the Star Wars characters on some notebook paper and puts it at the end of the post, Nino thinks, This is it. The way to his heart.

Nino hasn't written for anything other than Phoenix Wright in years, but he _has_ written quite a few Ohmiya self-insertion fics already and figures that he remembers enough about Star Wars from that time a few years ago that Jun forced him to watch it to be able to write yet another "joking" one. (Jun has a crush on Harrison Ford, so he and Nino marathoned Star Wars and Indiana Jones together once.)

After all, the only important thing is that Han Solo and Princess Leia get together, and Luke saves the day. Oh, and that Darth Vader is evil except not quite so evil in the end.

He casts himself as Han Solo, Ohno as Princess Leia, Jun as Luke Skywalker, Aiba as Yoda, and Sho as Darth Vader.

Sho keeps making annoying posts about how the Federal Reserve has bailed out _yet another bank_ , and seriously, at this point, who the fuck cares anymore? The economy's shit and there's nothing they can do about it. Nino has told him time and again that no one cares about that stuff but then Sho gets 100 comments every time. (Nino never really understood why anyone cares what Sho has to say, but Jun just says that getting a PhD from MIT isn't really something to scoff at.)

 _Whatever_ , Nino thinks, he's still annoying as fuck, and thus the only one who deserves to be Darth Vader.

Anyway. Nino leaves out the part about Luke and Leia kissing because he starts seeing red the second he thinks about Ohno kissing Jun. He's seen the way Jun looks at Ohno whenever they meet up, the longing in his eyes, and that fucker is supposed to be in love with Aiba anyway. So yeah, he really doesn't want to put any ideas in Jun's head. He decides that it would just be easiest to start with the second movie, doing a little bit of set up, because really, the second one is the only one that matters because it's where Nino and Ohno--wait, he means Han and Leia--get together. Then he figures he'll just throw in a scene or two from the last movie to wrap things up and that's that.

So he writes it all and posts it to his lj, getting a few comments from his loyal fans--which, speaking of, he has always found it creepy that people comment to his Ohmiya self-insertion fics, but, whatever, this is the Internet and nearly everyone out there is some kind of creepy suck up. (He conveniently ignores the fact that he's one of those creepy suck ups to Ohno.)

Then he waits, patiently, yet again, for a comment from Ohno, a comment where Ohno finally realizes that Nino is in love with him and that Ohno is _so_ totally in love with Nino.

What Nino gets instead is, "lol this is really cute, i doodled some pix of us as star wars ppl, maybe aiba will want us to cosplay as this the enxt time we visit him".

There is something to be said for the ability to turn anything into a positive--or maybe just the ability to be really, really, _really_ desperate. Rather than being disappointed by the comment, Nino IMs Sho ecstatically. "SHO OHNO FINALLY COMMENTED TO ONE OF MY FICS HE NOTICED HE NOTICED _ME_."

Sho's response is, "Why am I Darth Vader???"

Nino figures it's really not worth his time to answer, so he signs off Gtalk and calls Jun, because despite the front Jun puts up online, Jun is _nice_ (unlike _someone_ ) and he'll listen to Nino for hours and hours despite how uncomfortable the subject matter always make him. It's the sign of a true friend, Nino thinks.

He comes back to gmail two hours later and finds an offline message notification from Sho's account.

>  **Sho:** Nino  
>  NINO  
> Nino why did you leave  
> NINO WHY AM I DARTH VADER??  
> WHY DOES AIBA GET TO BE YODA AND I'M DARTH VADER  
> NO SERIOUSLY WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS  
> What did I do  
> Really what did I do  
> I don't get it  
> Even Jun gets to be Luke  
> I COULD TOTALLY BE LUKE  
> Nino oh my god seriously AREN'T WE SUPPOSED TO BE BEST FRIENDS  
> YOU DON'T DO THIS TO YOUR BEST FRIEND  
> NINO  
> NINO GET BACK HERE  
> NINO  
> NINO??  
> FUCK YOU  
> Fuck you!!!!!!


End file.
